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Brides and their Mommas

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Brides and their Mommas

The big day has arrived: your daughter is engaged! The utter joy and happiness will be at an all-time high for the majority of mothers out there. Some mommas are very involved with every step of the wedding and some mommas  like to take the supportive back seat; however the role is approached, the mother of the bride title has always been an important one!

(Date: 9/15/18; Photographer: Larisa Stinga; Florist: Aubrey Marie; Event Planner: Plan It MV; Venue: Outermost Inn; Band: Wilson Stevens)

(Date: 6/17/17; Photographer: Jocelyn Filley; Florist:  Tea Lane Farm; Event Planner: Megan Leonard; Venue: Farm Neck; Band: Sultans of Swing)


1)  LISTEN: It is crucial as the mother of the bride to be a warm listener and cheerleader for your baby girl. There can be so much emotional stress that goes into this big day and to have that kind of support from your mother is incomparable and incredibly calming to your daughter.

2)  SHOP ‘TIL YOU DROP: Traditionally, moms will accompany their daughters on the quest for the perfect wedding dress. It is very important to offer kind, careful and positive feedback. Make a fun weekend experience out of dress shopping! Book a hotel, bring a bottle of champs, and pack your camera! This is such a precious time in both of your lives and you will not get these memories back: make this moment count! Think back to when your daughter was a carefree, confident 3 year old dressing herself for a play date or preschool – it is important to remember that your daughter's style is unique to her (and possibly different than yours). Take that into consideration before adding your commentary. Focus your attention on your daughter and support her choices!

SIDE-NOTE 1: Try not to get caught up in your dress until after she has chosen her wedding dress. Remember that all eyes will be on your girl anyway!

SIDE-NOTE 2: Moms – once you have landed on your dress, it is etiquette to reach out to the mother of the groom with your dress info so she can plan accordingly with hers from there.

3)  BE HELPFUL AND SHOW INTEREST: Do research of venues to take some stress off of your daughter, even if the wedding is not in your hometown.   Whether you are offering to help with invitation design, offering to accompany her to vendor meetings, or offering to help write some extra thank you notes, ANYTHING you are offering will be helpful and will take stress off of your daughter. Be a Supermom!

4)  BE DIRECT: If you know there is a set budget you can contribute to the wedding, then directly state it from the start of wedding planning. It is important to be incredibly transparent so that there are not any awkward conversations or worries about the finances as you get into the thick of wedding planning.

5)  REMEMBER TRADITIONS: Whether it is religious or a tradition passed down in your family – tastefully communicating these ideas can be very important. Who better to tell those stories than you? Remember do not be too pushy with these traditions, but at least voice them. It could do more help than harm.

6)  BE HER EYES: Try to be clear-minded and level-headed at all times. Whether you are looking over fine print in vendor contracts or watching over a hundred other minor details, it is important that you prevent problems for your daughter.  If you feel like this task is too much for you, then look into hiring a professional wedding planner.

7)  THINK AHEAD: Be prepared for all of the “last minute details”! Umbrellas, hairspray, eyelash glue, mints, bobby bins, clear nail-polish, backup lipstick, extra deodorant, etc. Whether you are able to carry it all in your purse or set up baskets in bathrooms with these items beforehand – likely you will need one of these items day of and it is best to prepare for it!

8)  LOVE HER: Show her; remind her.

Mothers are a great source of support for the bride. Do not forget to tell her how proud you are of her or how much you love her selections – everyone appreciates positive feedback. Emotions will run high and it is important to remind your daughter that you are here to be her sounding board and rock. While mothers may not always know best (I know, I know- it pains me to say this as a mom now), they do ALWAYS have your best interest in mind… and that is worth reminding your daughter time and time again!

(Date: 9/29/18; Photographer: Larisa Stinga; Florist: Tea Lane Farm; Event Planner: Blue Lane; Venue: East Chop Beach Club; Caterer: Truly Scrumptious)

(Date: 9/2/18; Photographer: Jocelyn Filley; Florist: Morrice Florist; Event Planner: Perfect Plan; Reception: Daniel Fisher House; Ceremony: Whaling Church; Caterer: Buckley's; Band: Vine Shakers)

Like what you see?  Contact us to help you recreate this look for your Martha's Vineyard wedding today!

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